Exploring The Deeper Places

Beethoven was only 56 when he died, but the last decade of his life may have been his most prolific as a composer. Here’s the amazing part to me: he was DEAF during this time. How do you write music you can’t hear?! It must come from a deeper place.

Woody Allen; (put aside for a second any judgements on his relationship proclivities) the man is a comic genius. He has written, directed, and/or starred in like 40 movies. He’s 79 and still at it. He has a movie in theatres now.

In a recent interview, Allen was asked how he manages to make so many movies. “I’m an imperfectionist,” he said. When asked about his being so prolific at this stage of his life: “Well, I am 80 in a few months. Who knows what I can count on? My parents lived long, but that’s not a guarantee of anything. It’s too late to really reinvent oneself. All I can do is try to do good work so that people can say, ‘In his later years, in his last years, he did some of his best work.' Great.’”

Doug Manning is my mentor/therapist/friend. Doug wrote his latest book in his 80s. It’s called, The Back Nine: Life Beyond Retirement. My favorite line from the book, “Aging is inevitable. Getting old is a choice.” 

Wooden Boat Shop in Seattle (photo by Dave Fuller)

Doug speaks of the importance of having a hobby before you retire. As it turns out, it is also important to have a creative pursuit. Maybe they're one in the same. People who do pursue creativity, science now affirms, are happier and healthier. 

I asked Doug why this is so important. He explained that as we age and maybe retire, our world gets smaller. Our network of friends and family usually dwindles. “Without a hobby, or creative outlet or a cause you can give yourself to, your world continues to shrink.”

So if it’s so important that we have a hobby or creative pursuit, how do we make that happen. It seems like most people don’t consider themselves “creative”. I disagree. I believe we all are creative or have the capacity to be. Maybe it’s that our culture steals it from us.

Maybe you’ve heard this old anecdote: The young child of an art teacher asks, “Mom, what do you do?” The mom wanting to keep the answer basic replies, “I teach people how to draw.” The child replies, “Did they forget how?”

I’ve heard that if you were to ask a kindergarten class, “How many of you are artists?” every kid in the class will raise their hand. As you ask that question in each grade in ascending order, the percentage will go down. By the time you reach the senior class, only a few, if any, will raise their hand. You could deduce then that one of the effects of education is teaching people that they are not creative, or at least not artistic.

Billy Collins, former U.S. poet laureate, and my favorite poet, says it seems to be the objective of every junior high English teacher to make kids hate poetry.

So maybe the reason that taking up a creative endeavor like poetry or painting, or writing, or dancing, or photography is so daunting is because we’ve been lead to believe we’re not adequate to the task.

In Four Quartets, T. S. Eliot declaims, “Old men should be explorers.”

I’m going to take Eliot’s advice and explore the possibilities of hobbies and creative pursuits for us men-of-a-certain-age. Because there's apparently more to it than meets the eye or ear.

I would love to hear your thoughts and ideas. What are you doing in this area? What did your father or grandfather do?

To be continued...

Fashion For Old Guys

SOMETIMES I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH AGE-APPROPRIATENESS. I HAVE A GOOD EXCUSE.

It’s hard being age-appropriate, you know? It’s a moving target. It’s hard in every area of life. But, it’s easy when you’re young. As a kid you go to an amusement park, there’s no wondering if a roller-coaster is age appropriate, there’s a cartoon character sign with his hand raised saying, “You must be this tall to ride this ride!” Everything from toys, to puzzles, to Pampers, to food is labeled for age-appropriateness.

Even the movies tell you if you need “PG” Parental-Guidance, or whether it is “R” rated, which basically means, “If your parents are too stupid to tell you you can’t see this movie, we will.” It may be time for a reworking of the movie rating system. I’m recommending a couple of new ratings: SA and CCR, which means if you’re a Senior Adult or a Conservative Christian Republican, you might want to pass on this one. Even for me, sometimes, today’s movies shock my sensibilities, and my standards are pretty low. I’m not a fan of graphic violence, super-hero-special-effects, and casual f-bombing for f-bombing’s sake, or movies starring Matthew McConaughey (It’s not personal, Matt).

For today’s post, I want to focus on one area of tricky age-appropriateness: How To Dress.

I believe I mentioned that I have a good excuse for struggling in this area; besides the fact that I’m an aging, softish, white guy, and we all struggle with this (or we just don’t care anymore). While I was still in my own adolescence/teen years/first coming-of-age, I started working with teens, first, at a junior high school in a counseling program as practicum for a college course. From there, I started in “youth ministry”—working with teens in a church setting. I continued that into my 50s and my second-coming-of-age.

So if we were to meet, and if I were to do something age-inappropriate, keep in mind, it’s not that I’m necessarily emotionally immature, just generationally confused. To this day I am much more comfortable hanging out with young people than I am with people my own age. I’m sure retired high school teachers and coaches can relate (unless you hated kids, which seems to be the case for a few teachers and coaches).

All of this contemplating age-appropriateness started when a sweetheart of a girl from the old youth group days sent me a link to an article about a reinvention of the famous and enduring Chuck Taylor Converse All-Star sneakers. She said something to the effect of: “I could see you wearing these.” I replied something like: “Heck yes! I need a pair.”

But then it dawned on me, should I be wearing Chucks, or is it time for the Rockports and Hush Puppies?

And, not just shoes. What about sock color, or socks at all? Should any man past puberty wear a tank top in public or anywhere other than a basketball court, regardless of physique, or one’s personal, unrealistic view of one’s own?

At this point in my life, only a couple of wardrobe issues are settled for me: boxers over briefs, and this: I just don’t feel comfortable in polo shirts. I do have one. I wear it to this place where I play my semi-annual golf game. They require it. That’s a problem because a lot of the old guys I know that look pretty dapper most of the time seem to do the polo shirt thing so well, most of the year. Somehow when I put on a polo and khakis, I feel like I should be selling TVs at Best Buy.

For many years I have been at my most comfortable in blue jeans, a long-sleeved shirt (sleeves rolled up) and loafers (no socks) in spring, summer and early-autumn. Once the frost is on the pumpkin, the sleeves roll down or I pull over a sweater and switch to socks and chuka boots. Why I’m worrying about clothes choice is beyond me. Why our obsessions?

I guess I still care to the point that I don’t want to look like an old-guy cliche. You know; hawaiian shirt, cargo shorts, sandals with socks. Here’s the thing, a lot of guys pull that off very well. It’s like they are so comfortable in their own skin that whatever they wear on that skin seems very authentic.

I also don’t want to appear to be struggling to hang on to some desperate sense of youthfullness. It’s not my fault that chuka boots have come back in to style (I think). I’m not some metrosexual wannabe.

Mostly though, I don’t want to embarrass my grand-girls. When I get home from a fun day out with them, and I look in the mirror and see that on my t-shirt that reads: “Medicare: Bring It On”, is a stain from the yogurt we had at Orange Leaf, and a smudge of grease from the pizza we had at Chuck E. Cheese, will I be embarrassed or will all that just be reminders of a wonder-full day?

At least my feet won’t hurt, because the new Converse Chuck Taylor All-Stars I’ve been wearing have extra cusioning and arch  support. Thank you Paula Moore Gresham for the tip and for believing I can pull it off.

So, to all you grandkids and wives out there: any advice for us old guys? Keep this in mind: one thing I know for sure, I don’t want to look like one of those guys whose wife laid his clothes out for him.

Espresso, Oyster or Salsa

IN A FEW WEEKS, it will be two years since I went public here at About Pops with our dream to take to the open road in a shiny Airstream travel trailer. The potential of being judged as “impulsive” is eliminated.

Over the past two years, we’ve been to RV shows, visited dealerships, called on classified listings and even visited an Airstream rally. We’ve read blogs and forums and interviewed Airstream owners. Choosing the best model and size has been fun and formidable.

I’ve fretted over the wisdom of the expense at this stage of life, and have been haunted by the excess of it, making it a moral dilemma. Do I really have to justify everything?

Finally, for better or worse, we’ve made the decision. We’re gettin’ hitched (as in trailer to pickup). We have a couple of dealers offering us special deals on new trailers that are the model we’ve chosen. That’s the good news.

The other news is that we now face another big decision. We don’t want this one to take two years, so we are asking for your vote. That’s right. Here’s your chance to share your opinion, to help design the interior of a new Airstream. Normally, I wouldn’t throw an important matter like this onto the table of public opinion, but we are very lucky to have a lot of friends who are artists, designers, who have good taste and who know us well enough to help us with this decision.

As you ponder your vote, keep in mind that we really like modern design aesthetic, otherwise we wouldn’t be considering this Airstream model. Oh, and don’t forget this important factor: we have three Grand-Girls, ages 1, 3 and 6, who will be traveling with us from time to time.

There are three choices. Espresso, Oyster, and Salsa.

Espresso

Oyster

Salsa

Here’s how you can vote: You can leave a comment here in the comments section at About Pops. You can also leave your vote as a comment on the post on the About Pops Facebook page. Or you can tweet your vote on Twitter @AboutPops.

Please vote. And, when the Airstream finally arrives, maybe we’ll come stay in your driveway for a week or two.

All Along The Watchtower

The burden of the desert of the sea. As whirlwinds in the south pass through; so it cometh from the desert, from a terrible land. 
A grievous vision is declared unto me; the treacherous dealer dealeth treacherously, and the spoiler spoileth. Go up, O Elam: besiege, O Media; all the sighing thereof have I made to cease. 
Therefore are my loins filled with pain: pangs have taken hold upon me, as the pangs of a woman that travaileth: I was bowed down at the hearing of it; I was dismayed at the seeing of it. 
My heart panted, fearfulness affrighted me: the night of my pleasure hath he turned into fear unto me. 
Prepare the table, watch in the watchtower, eat, drink: arise, ye princes, and anoint the shield. 
For thus hath the Lord said unto me, Go, set a watchman, let him declare what he seeth. — Isaiah 21:1-6 KJV

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According to Amazon.com, the book I pre-ordered months ago is set to be on my doorstep July 14, 2015. I’m like a kid on Christmas morning. The anticipation is higher than in the days leading up to a new season of Downton Abbey.

The book is Go Set A Watchman by Harper Lee. It is a manuscript reportedly written years ago, even before To Kill A Mockingbird, but unpublished until now. I’ve tried not to read too much of the advance speculation about the book, wanting to savor it on my own. But, I do know that it is written in the voice of Scout (probably my all-time favorite literary character) from the story To Kill A Mockingbird (probably my all-time favorite literary work).

If you haven’t read the book, maybe you’ve seen the movie. If not, stop what you’re doing and read it and watch it now. It may be more timely and important today than the day Ms. Lee wrote it.

Speaking of the South, moral dilemmas, justice, judgements, history, politics, traditions, and the like; you know how the adults in the Charlie Brown TV specials talk? Well, I was listening to Neil Young’s “Southern Man” song the other day, you know the one that starts:

Southern man
better keep your head
Don’t forget
what your good book said

For years I had listened to the song and heard this arrangement: Chorus, Verse, Chorus, Verse.

Today I heard it differently. I think it goes (and Neil, if I’m mistaken, give me a call and let’s talk it through):
Chorus, Verse, Verse in a Charlie Brown adult voice
Chorus, Verse, Verse in a Charlie Brown adult voice

I don’t know what the Charlie Brown adult voice is saying, but I’m imagining it is answering Neil’s question at the end of each verse: “How long, how long?”

[DISCLAIMER: It’s not actually a Charlie Brown adult voice. It’s actually a Neil Young guitar solo. But I’m confident he’s playing it as if to say something. But what?]

Maybe the voice is saying… “A grievous vision is declared unto me; the treacherous dealer dealeth treacherously, and the spoiler spoileth… Therefore are my loins filled with pain: pangs have taken hold upon me, as the pangs of a woman that travaileth: I was bowed down at the hearing of it; I was dismayed at the seeing of it… Go, set a watchman!”

Back to Monroeville, Alabama, home of the very reclusive Harper Lee. Big celebrations are planned in town for the release of this new (old) book. Apparently Ms. Lee who lives in an assisted living center in Monroeville is sort of cranky and not expected to make any public appearance whatsoever. 

“Charming second-hand anecdotes about Lee circulate through the town. A HarperCollins employee told the story of how Lee was given a mock-up of the forthcoming book’s cover earlier this year. ‘She (Ms. Lee) looked at it and said, “There should be no comma after the word ‘Go’.” It was then pointed out to her by one of the editors that in the King James Version of Isaiah 21:6 there is a comma.” Lee responded, ‘That’s the Lord’s Book. This is my book. And there is no comma.’ 

“In To Kill A Mockingbird, Scout remarks of a tea party: ‘Ladies in bunches always filled me with vague apprehension and a firm desire to be elsewhere,’ — and the feeling in town is a little like that tea party, according to local Crissy Nettles, ‘Everyone from here who has ever met Miss Lee is sure she won’t be in the public eye.’” (LA Times)

I’m wondering if, in this new book, Scout and Neil Young might meet, maybe in a coffee shop in Monroeville. Neil would say, “Scout, you’re a Watchperson, aren’t you?” And Scout would reply, “I hope so Neil. Atticus certainly was. I hope both of us are.”

By the way, and speaking of coffee shops, there’s a great little place I know of that would be the perfect setting to meet and talk about these two Harper Lee books, once we’ve all read them. Let me know if you would be interested in that.

POPS AND KARLEE PLAYING SOME BACKGAMMON IN A COFFEE JOINT PERFECT FOR A BOOK DISCUSSION